My Travel Plans May Not Come True

I was VERY looking forward to our April vacation. Chris was going to take a whole month off which we planned to spend in Naples, FL, at our condo with our son. I was very excited about it, especially not being on vacation for more than a year. And this particular fact may turn into a HUGE problem for me.
I'm a foreigner married to a US citizen who temporary works in Russia. There are laws and special procedures for foreigners to marry US citizens. We have followed every single rule and did everything in accordance with the immigration laws to get married. We started with filing for fiancee visa in January 2008 to get married in November 2008. We got lucky and the process did not take long. In June 2008 after my interview at the US Moscow Embassy I got my fiancee visa. The most annoying part for me was going for medical exam and applying for a police statement to prove that I have no criminal records in the territory of the Russian Federation. It takes up to a month to get such a police statement so I had to apply in advance. In addition to medical records including my vaccination information and X-rays I had to bring different proofs of our relationship and true love such as pictures, letters from our colleagues and friends etc. The interview was easy as our story is pretty simple i.e. boring.

The next step after the wedding was to apply for a conditional residency (Green Card) which we did. It involved another interview, medical exam and a police report not to mention fees which are all around 500$. I got my Green Card in April 2009 and was very proud of being a resident even though I was a conditional resident. Conditional residency is granted for a period of two years after which you must file a petition to remove conditions and get a permanent green card. Only after that I can apply for a citizenship.
Well, I have filed my papers to the Immigration Services in February 2011 and got a letter saying that my green card is extended for another year and invitation for finger prints in Fort Myers, FL, for March 10th. Obviously living in Russia I cannot just take off and travel 24 hrs to go to this appointment especially with a 4 month old. So we sent a letter explaining our situation and asked to move the appointment to April as we plan to be there around this time and because my husband's R&R dates are very strict and specific.

We also plan to travel on the date when my current green card expires but with the extension letter from the Immigration I'm good to cross the border. We made a few calls to confirm that it's right and learned something that I thought wasn't that important. Now it's a HUGE problem! It turns out as a conditional resident I cannot spend more than a year outside the country. Well, I've been out of the states for more than a year because of my pregnancy and having a baby. Apparently, it cancels your green card. At the same time the law says that you may not be allowed in the country but it doesn't say that you will not be admitted in the country. From what I read in the internet it's up to the border patrol officer to make a decision either let you in the country or not, either you have abandoned your residency or you have not.

So I'm very upset that after all these years I may lose my status and have to start from the very beginning but the most upsetting thing is that we don't know if my green card is cancelled or not, if I have abandoned my status or not. And it's impossible to find out as we're dealing with two different agencies: immigration and border patrol. Obviously, in my opinion I haven't abandoned my status, I have more ties with the USA than with Russia not to mention that I gave America another American :) (yeah, it's my lame comedy attempt).

So far we decided to buy tickets and gather as much evidence for me as possible to prove that I haven't abandoned my status and that I have a very important reason for not coming to the US because of my pregnancy and having a newborn. My doctor advised me not to travel long distances when I was pregnant and after we had Brendan he was too small to travel overseas especially without his vaccinations.

I'm very upset about this situation. Nobody can help us because they don't know themselves. All we can do is go and see what they say at the border. The worst for me will be to turn around with a 5 m.o. and fly back to Moscow which is another 13 hr flight.

In despair I have applied for a Return Visa and was told that I cannot have two cases in process at the same time meaning my application to remove conditions on residency. A woman from the US Embassy told me that being out of the country for that long pretty much cancels your green card but said that she would make calls about my situation and find out what to do. In the worst case i.e. cancellation of my green card, at least I'll know the answer and maybe won't have to be tortured with my baby for 48 hrs straight flying back and forth. By the way, “the best” part about this Return visa is another F...ing police statement and another medical exam. Grrrr! At the same time if I get this Return Visa my chances for our family Florida vacation may be way higher.

We also have Plan B which is go to our second favorite place in the world – Corfu, Greece. I have decided to get a Shengen visa next week just in case my US residency is cancelled.

The worst part about this situation is that Chris' Dad will not see his grandson. He already has tickets and is very excited to meet Brendan.

What a horrible situation! Well, I still have about three weeks before our trip, we'll see what happens. By the way, Chris has no choice he has to leave Russia to get a new visa as his current visa expires at the end of April. Damn visas!

New pictures

I took a few pictures of Brendan when he turned 4 months. Here they are:

3 & 4 months

Brendan is almost 4 months old! At his 3 month appointment his weight was 13.6 lbs and height was 25.8. So he did not grow that much in height that month but did in width.

Brendan is a happy baby most of the time if he doesn't have stomach problems. It took us almost three months to develop a daily routine. Our day is usually like this:

9 a.m. - morning feeding;

10 a.m. to 11 a.m. - nap (usually from 30-40 min, rarely 1 hr)

11 a.m. - some naked time, we do some simple exercises such as stretch and move arms and legs, also tummy time and change in new clothes

12 a.m. - feeding

12:30 - 1:30 - play time (swing, play mat, singing and talking)

1:30 - nap

2 p.m. - feeding

2:30 to 3 p.m. play time

3 p.m. to 5 p.m. - walk

and then feeding and playing time

9 p.m. - bath

9:30 to 10 p.m. night feeding

10 p.m. - goes to bed

Of course, some days are different but mostly we stick to this schedule.

One of the new and greatest things he started doing is sleeping through the night! The record was when he fell asleep at 10 p.m. by himself and slept till 9 a.m. AWESOME!

Brendan smiles a lot even when people talk to him on Skype and when strangers talk to him. It's good to know and see that he is not afraid of strangers, we just don't know if it's normal for babies and if it changes later. We'll see.

Once a day he goes into laughing mood. I can always tell that he wants to laugh, so I play with him and talk in his chest or neck and he is just laughing out loud. It's precious!

Sometimes I look at him and cannot believe that he is ours. I remember how frustrating it was when I didn't get pregnant for some time and how terribly I wanted a baby. Now he is looking at me with so much love that when I think about those times it brings tears to my eyes. Of course, now it's happy and thankful tears.

Yes, I get very tired by the end of the day especially now when Chris is being busy at work for almost a month and a half, so temporarily Brendan is mostly on me. It's hard and sometimes frustrating but at the end of the day when he falls asleep I cannot wait for the morning when he wakes up again, I kiss him, put him on his boppy pillow next to me in bed and talk to him while having my morning tea or coffee. He is our dream come true! I wish all our Novembies who are trying to conceive get pregnant and experience the happiness of being parents!

2 months update

Brendan was 2 months on January 12th 2011. He had his 2nd pediatrician appointment which discovered that he added 6 cm to his height! No wonder he added only minimum weight. So he measures 65 cm and weighs 5.2 kg.

As far as his progress, he says "a-goo" all the time when he talks to himself, talks to us, cries and even yawns. He definitely recognizes our faces and smiles to us. The new thing that he started doing was touching his hands a lot, putting them together, batting at toys, reaching for toys and grasping them, loves putting his fists in his mouth trying to fit both at once and drools a lot!


His favorite toys are The Bee and Mr. Giraffe.


I went for my post-delivery appointment and spent about 5 or 6 hrs there and after I came back Brendan gave me the biggest smile ever when he saw me. He was very excited and happy to see me. That's precious!

Brendan smiles every time Chris talks to him. He loves his Daddy. Chris is a great Dad. He takes good care of him. I can always rely on Chris when I have to go somewhere or just rest. They have great time when they hang out together!

Believe it or not Brendan has got his American passport. We filed documents to the American Embassy here in Moscow confirming that he was born here and one of his parents is an American citizen. We also went to the Embassy with Brendan and swore that everything we said is true. Two weeks later we got his passport in the mail. Pretty awesome! He is our little Russian and American citizen :) Check out his passport photo! This face is something! We couldn't even look at his picture without cracking up :) Now two members of our family have US citizenship and I only have a green card which expires in April this year. I have already submitted papers for its extension, hopefully I'll get it.

I'm very exited about our April/May trip to the states. We plan on spending the whole month in Florida, seeing the family and hanging out at the beach and our favorite places. Chris also surprised me with a hotel reservation that we have for a few nights. It's a beach front. He also made a mani/pedicure reservation for me. I cannot wait!


At our favorite restaurant with my parents and brother. Chris was on his visa renewal in the states.

Bath time!
After his walk:

Our 1st Month

First of all, it took me almost one month to get back here. I cannot believe that Brendan is already 2.5 months old. I'll try to write two posts with updates of his first two months.

Highlights of Brendan's 1st month were visits of my parents and Chris' Mom. It was great to have them here and help with cooking and cleaning, also advice on the baby care. My parents taught us how to bathe Brendan and other things.


Chris and I had our date night while his Mom babysat Brendan for a couple of hours. It was our first date and the last for at least the next three months as we don't have any family or close friends here who can watch Brendan while we go out.

It's OK because we decided to go out once every week and we take Brendan with us.
His 1st night out was when he was three weeks old and he did great. He slept the whole time we were in the restaurant!



Brendan loves his daily baths, he is always very calm and quiet.


At first he was nervous about it and held Chris's wrist or my wrist with his hands but then he got very comfortable. He also loves his walks. I wish we could walk him more often.



The problem is that we have an awesome carriage which is like a jeep :) which makes it a little heavy. We live on the 4th floor and it doesn't fit in the elevator, so I'm dependent on Chris to take it upstairs. Going downstairs is also difficult but I can do it. Actually, last week I've done something nobody has done: I carried Brendan in one arm and wheeled the carriage downstairs with the other arm. It was HARD but I did it!

Anyway, Brendan's progress in his 1st month: he's got control of his head, he lifts his head, responds to sounds, stares at faces, follows objects, laughs and smiles a lot! He started holding his head the next day he turned 1 month. He started smiling when he was 10 days old and it wasn't the "gas smile", he also giggled when he was 14 days old. I've been teaching him to say "a-goo" for a week and he started saying it after the week. Now he says it all the time even when he is talking to himself which is very cute!
Brendan started watching the Baby Mozart video for a few minutes. So far he is only interested in moving object and not in pictures of animals or anything more complicated. He also loves his swing except it gives him hiccups after about 10 minutes of swinging, he enjoys his playmat and started paying attention to his toys but only for a few minutes and gets bored pretty quickly. Brendan loves his walks and falls asleep immediately every time we go outside. All of us LOVE the cradle!!!! It is the BEST purchase we've made for him. It is so mobile and you can rock it, so we don't have to carry him around trying to put to sleep, we just put him in his cradle and rock it until he falls asleep. Usually it takes from 15-30 minutes.



And this is his dramatic moment when he wants to eat and acts like he has never been fed before and will never be!








Brendan did not like everything we bought for him e.g.he hated swaddlemes I've got for him. The first night we tried to put him in it he cried a lot and let us know in every possible way that he is not a swaddle type of baby :) So we never tried again!
He is the greatest thing that happened in our lives and we love him a lot! He made me look at the world at a different angle.

Brendan's First Christmas

It was so great to have Brendan with us on Christmas this year. It was our dream and wish to celebrate Christmas with our first baby and we are beyond happy that it came true.

We had a very nice day. As usually we got up and had our coffees with Baileys and opened our gifts. It was fun to open Brendan's gifts.



We were not sure what to get him as he doesn't get it yet. In the end we got him a few toys and the family sent him some new outfits. The winner was the recordable book with the Christmas story read by Chris' niece. It's precious! What a great gift to keep for years!

Brendan was so great on Christmas day, he was happy and did not cry. It was awesome!

We spent the rest of the day watching our favorite Christmas movies: Christmas Story, Polar Express, Bad Santa and some great cartoons. In the evening I made our traditional Christmas dinner: pasta with garlic shrimp. It was a great day!

Oh, I forgot to say that Chris got me a new cell phone which was a total surprise as I asked for gift certificates as I see lots of shopping for new clothes in 2011 :)